If you’ve ever lived through a period of your life that caused you an intense amount of stress or that changed you – either mentally in a negative way or physically because you weren’t taking good care of yourself anymore – then you know where I’m at today. I’ve gained more weight than I wish to document here (it’s not a few kilos but way into the double digits). I stopped socialising, stopped trying to make friends, and stopped leaving my flat…sometimes for weeks on end. I went from being a social butterfly of sorts to a solitary hermit.
All of this needs to stop and I need to get back to being ME again. Since I want to stay in Asia I figure there is no better place to turn my life around and find myself again than Bali.
The Past Year
It’s been almost a year to the day that I moved to Hong Kong. I relocated for what turned out to be the worst great job I’ve had until now. The role had so much potential but I was micromanaged to such a granular level by the owners who had never done my job but who had such strong (and wrong) opinions that it caused a lot of problems. Their management style was very typical of Chinese companies and they’d treat me in such a way that I had two panic attacks at work (a first for me) and had to be put on Xanax and carry special ‘calming’ medication for when I was yelled at or started to feel a panic attack coming on. I would have had to turn into a ‘yes person’ for that job to have worked and looking back that’s what I should have done to best take care of my family but I made a bad choice.
I jumped at a chance to leave for a temporary assignment and just assumed it would be easy to find work in such a thriving metropolis. And it is, just not for me. Any PR, comms or marketing role really requires a candidate who speaks Cantonese and/or Mandarin so after five months of job hunting here I’ve packed my bags ‘n am headed south!
Since I’d like to stay in Asia, I’ve now expanded my search to basically everywhere outside Hong Kong and China. While I sort out myself, I will continue to job hunt everyday and staying in SEA will make flying out for interviews much easier than if I went all the way back to my native California. I’ll also continue to freelance and grow my luxury travel website YouTube Channel and my website design and development company to have a secondary stream of income for if I’m ever unemployed for a long stretch of time again. I have a daughter in university who is eyeing Oxford Medical School and it’s just she and I when it comes to finances so I have to ensure her future is secure at all costs. I’m also going to launch a Bali section on my Asia-focused luxury travel blog, which will be really fun and open me up to a lot of locals there on Bali.
Time to Change Myself Inside & Out
Starting tomorrow I’m going to spend lots of time in nature, waking around feeling grateful for the chance to rediscover myself again in such a beautiful place. I will exercise everyday to get the outside back to ‘healthy’ too. Lastly, I’m going to say adios to wine and detox for a month while eating really healthy.
For the most part I’m really excited about what I view as an unknown adventure in my life. A friend suggested that maybe I don’t blog about it or share it on social media because at my age I should have my life better sorted by now. And there is something to that but should I only write about the good times in my life to paint only a rosy picture? I truly believe we walk a path in life and everyone’s is different. Mistakes, bad decisions and runs of bad luck play just as great a part in shaping the people we become in life as the successes and positive moments when we were in the right place at the right time. Like the Buddhist principle, my daughter told me she hopes I find my peace of mind and I thought this was a great way to look at the personal goals I hope to achieve in Bali. Of course, then I will balance that by kicking ass and working hard to reach my professional objectives!
This Post Has 6 Comments
Good for you Angela…sounds like you were completely suffocated . Always better to move forward and explore than sit back and regret…best wishes for your next stop Bali..i have heard it a beautfiul place, would love to visit it myself someday..looks like you are following the Eat Pray ove route, with a few unscheduled stops in between 🙂
hahahha OMG I sort of have if you count my 12 years in Spain as the swap for Italy! Very funny observation indeed 🙂
Thank you for your kind words and well wishes. I send them right back atcha 😉 XOAngela
It was nice reading your latest article. “From being a social butterfly of sorts to a solitary hermit”…a transition that we all wish would never happen. But, its so sickening to be that way, totally locked up, disconnected from the outside world. The past 2 years of my life were spent mostly in my room guitaring, writing stuff and researching (doing a phd.), but whenever I’ve made an effort to go out and spend time with nature, it’s been a remarkable experience. Nature has its way of healing all our wounds, giving us joy, a sense of fulfillment et cetera. I love hitting the beaches all alone, walking by the shore line, hearing the squelching sound of my feet…Whenever we need a healing, nature is the place to go and I’m glad to hear that you’re heading there. Good luck with that!
I loved your movie recommendation “The Help”…I almost cried at the end when the maid leaves the house and the baby cries…I’ve also downloaded “Freedom Writers” and will watch it in some time. I would like to suggest a movie called “Eat Pray Love (2010)”. Watch this movie before you make the trip. This closely aligns with your state of mind and the heroine Julia Roberts also makes a trip to Bali, what a coincidence!. If you had watched it already or read the book, I’m sorry. Take care Angela and all the best! Do well!
Hey Bobby, I’m so happy you loved The Help (and do watch Freedom Writers, makes me feel so empowered with a ‘I can do anything spirit’ each time I see it). And thank you for your kind comment. I’ve just arrived and your ‘nature has a its way of healing’ is just what I needed to hear. I’m going for a swim under the stars now and waking up early to go for a long walk on the beach tomorrow.
All the best to you, thanks for following along and for reaching out. XOAngela
Its terrible to read what you have been through, but then this will only make us stronger. I believe you should find work in either New Zealand or Australia where your brilliance will be appreciated even Japan is a pretty good place.
I am sure you will bounce back and all the very best.
Thanks so much, Keith. Your uplifting comments are very much appreciated 🙂 XO
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